


Minty Fresh

by fadedink



Category: CW Network RPF
Genre: M/M, RPF, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-21
Updated: 2007-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-26 00:04:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/276340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fadedink/pseuds/fadedink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christian gives Jared advice; Jensen is less than impressed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Minty Fresh

**Author's Note:**

> The 'product' that Jared uses can be found [here](http://www.mintyass.com/), and much thanks to [](http://editorzon.livejournal.com/profile)[**editorzon**](http://editorzon.livejournal.com/) for originally finding it in the 'toy' store and causing much hilarity amongst the hookers. *g*

_**FIC: "Minty Fresh" - 1/1, R, JA/JP (CK), CW RPS**_  
Title: Minty Fresh  
Author: Jo (jo@fadedink.com)  
Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki; Christian Kane  
Rating: R  
Summary: Christian gives Jared advice; Jensen is less than impressed.  
Disclaimer: Fiction, folks. But if you believe this really happened, I've got some prime real estate I wanna sell you…  
Archive: Faded Ink, all others please ask first.  
Author's Notes: Crack!fic ahead. This is all the fault of [](http://moonmelody.livejournal.com/profile)[**moonmelody**](http://moonmelody.livejournal.com/) and [](http://technosage.livejournal.com/profile)[**technosage**](http://technosage.livejournal.com/). As such, this one is for them. *g* Oh, and there aren't any candy canes in the fic...

  
  
"Wait, wait...Jen actually _offered_ to --"

"Yeah, and he's got this whole thing planned for tonight and I just...God, what if I...y'know."

"What?"

"You _know_!"

"I do? Oh. _Oh_. Right. That, um, could be a problem."

"Stop laughing!"

"Sorry, it's just...okay, well, um, just shower well first."

"I said stop laughing."

"Come on, Sasquatch, that look don't work on me."

"I was already planning on showering, thanks."

"Okay, then, um...what d'ya want from me?"

"Well, what if...you know. It still, um…"

"Ah, yeah, that could be a problem."

"Are you laughing at me again?"

"No, no, I, ah...look, if you're that worried, just, um...here."

"What? Put those back!"

"Hey, you said you were worried about it. These'll help."

"Those are ridiculous!"

"Your problem, then. You ask for my advice, no skin off my nose if ya ain't gonna take it."

"I...just...those are..."

"Ridiculous, yeah, you said that already. They work, though."

"They...you've _used_ them?"

"Would ya just trust me?"

"Oh, God, I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Aw, for cryin' out loud...give 'em here. I'll buy the damn things for you."

* * *

"You sure you want to --"

"Wouldn't've offered if I didn't."

"Okay, okay, I just..."

"J, man, relax. You're supposed to enjoy it."

"Yeah, I know. Um...gimme a minute, okay?"

"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay, just...I'll be right back."

...

"Ow!"

"You okay in there?"

"Yeah, yeah, m'fine, it's good. Ow."

"J..."

"Hey, it's good. I just, uh, banged my toes."

"Uh huh."

"Yeah, hurt like hell. So, um..."

"Look, we don't have to do this if you --"

"No! No, it's okay, I'm just, y'know, nervous."

"Don't be. I mean, I'll be the one with my tongue up your ass."

"Sounds, um, romantic when you put it like that."

"Yeah, well."

"So, um, how..."

"Just lie down and relax."

"Relax. Right. Got it."

"J..."

"No, seriously, I'll be okay. Is there anything I should..."

"Yeah."

"What?"

"Relax."

"Right."

"Here, close your eyes. Now...just..."

"Mmm..."

"Yeah, that's good. Like that?"

"Oh, yeah..."

"See, there you go. Ready?"

"Yeah...think so."

"There's a ringing endorsement."

"Jen...oh, _fuck_!"

"Um...J..."

"Huh?"

"Dude...why does your ass smell like a candy cane?"

"Um..."

"Are you blushing?"

"No!"

"You are, man. What'd you do?"

"Nothing!"

"Uh huh."

"Just, um, well...here."

"..."

"Jen?"

"You been talking to Kane?"

"Uh, no?"

"You sure?"

"Uh..."

"I'm going to kill that little fucker."

  
Additional note: The 'product' that Jared uses can be found [here](http://www.mintyass.com/), and much thanks to [](http://editorzon.livejournal.com/profile)[**editorzon**](http://editorzon.livejournal.com/) for originally finding it in the 'toy' store and causing much hilarity amongst the hookers. *g*


End file.
